A Thanks For Stumbling Blocks

Praise to the Lord
The Holy One of Israel
Who has made me weak

I was of fortunate birth
With a robust mind
And a tall frame
I could have been anything

But my Father is wiser than that
He gave me flaws to match my strengths
He saw the idol I might have built
And took a knife to the wet clay
Slicing at imagined tendons
Carving away the smug grin
He saw my own Tower of Babel
And contaminated all the bricks
Tweaked all my mathematics
And sent storms to bring it down
He did it at the beginning
And He has done it again and again
Whenever I was foolish enough
To resume the work

I have walked the steady descent to Hell
More times than I can count
And each time I was turned back
It could have been easier
I could have gone farther
But He put a knot in my gut
And gave my feet a clumsy gait
He made a procrastinator
Who fears crowds and offices
And struggles with small talk
He gave me vices and weaknesses
And sacred stumbling blocks
To save me from myself

So praise Adonai
For those little moments
When I can't help but see my wickedness
When I'm heading to Gehenna's gates
And He knocks the wind out of me
Throws me to my knees
And waits to receive my prayers

Thank God
That I am not the me I could have been
The one that climbed the mountain
Of mortal ambition
And, finding it empty,
Died of starvation
And praise the I Am also
That I am not the other one
That never felt temptation
Because there's a glory that's only seen
When you've been knocked senseless
Struck down in the middle of evil deeds
And, out of nowhere, made to kneel
That's when you get it
The sight of the Cross
The glorious, fearful, powerful, costly Cross

I can almost hear it sometimes
Echoing from the coming ages
I hear a moment resonating
Perfectly in tune with just one line
Sometimes I think I'm dancing to it
That song that I will sing
Loud and giddy and full of life
Before all the angels and all the Church
When I stand before my beloved King
And sing the story of my life

It's costly, like all glorious things
The price is the sum of all my flaws
If I had been given a choice
I probably wouldn't have made the exchange
I am too foolish and afraid
But it was never my choice
And thank the Lord for that
Because I was made to sing that song